Sunday, December 18, 2011

Blurry Minds, Blurry Lives

Days when you feel useless again.

You think of making a blog post on how almost everyone you're close to are people who you've interacted online mostly.
You think of making a blog post, comparing trippy psychedelic music of the 70's with today's counterpart.
You think of making a blog post on you love life.

You don't; you instead get stuck in your immovable, morbid state... stuck with one leg in the gutter and the other in the drain.

This urge, this need to feel productive... kills me from the inside at times.
It's like you look at all these people, who are mostly around the same age, doing well in life; having achieved far more than you have till now.
People console you; they tell you that it's because of different opportunities, better opportunities. Bigger places, better chances.
All that hogwash.

Anonymous once said, "If you really want to do something, you’ll find away; if you don’t you’ll find an excuse."

But what is the deal with all these quotes, eh?
All this philosophical nonsense.
This flexibility of these feeble words that you can put to use in whatever situation and time you deem fit.
Different meanings at different times, dollar now... dime sometime.

Quotes. The fake wise-men of our generation.
Oh wait, we already have them.

Anyhow, I digress.

Mum said, "Do the best you can wherever you are."
But what if I already am, ma?

This person on this website said, "I sometimes feel I just DO NOT belong here. It feels like whatever I do or plan to do is hollow and pointless. There are phases of depression and emptiness that I face. I feel I could have as well studied in DU (smoking away my college life, which I still do but without meaning to it). This feeling reaches its zenith when your grades suck or you lose a competition."

Wow. Fucker just raped my mind and stole everything I wanted to say.

Mothers you know, wonder women of the world.
One phone call and your brain gets re-wired.
But what if you don't know if it's for the good, these re-wiring?
What if you are just being inception-ed.
False promises and fall hopes, just rotting... grub for crows.

This is pointless.
Blurry minds, blurry lives.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


 ‎"If you don't see me, I'll burn myself." 

Mohamed Bouazizi sold produce on his cart all day long to provide for his family. Basboosa, as he was called by the locals, gave up his hopes of a university degree as it was an unrealistic dream that his harsh life wouldn't grant him.

He was sensitive to the torment inflicted on the innocent locals by the municipal authorities, and he was angry. Rage burned in him like a phoenix which would only burn out after self- immolation, rebirth. 

Faida Hamdi and her municipal henchmen had harassed him and destroyed his cart, his means of livelihood. She had slapped him, spat on his face and called his dead father 'a coward who killed himself'. 

Standing outside the governor's office, expecting no reply to his cries and complaints against the injustice that life itself had become, Basboosa thought to himself, "When there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire."

And then he lit the match that set fire to the Tunisian Revolution.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Why Did I Ponder On This As A Little Boy?

What do you do when you've done all you can and still can't make someone content?
You try harder. Or something. 

I mean how hard is to make people happy? 
I think I can answer that. Get a hold of a time machine.
This is a moment of absolute genius. Isaac Asimov would be proud.
Just go back in the godforsaken past and right your wrongs. Make better decisions, lower causalities. 

But no, even that won't do any good. Because the gist of the matter is that in your dimension you have already fucked up so even if you would go back and do things differently you would just enter a different dimension. 

So basically, you're fucked for eternity. Even if you somehow manage to find yourself a time machine and reverse shit, you're still pretty much fucked.   

Humans err right? Then why are we given hell about deeds committed in the past? 
Mistakes you've learnt from, having sworn to never repeat the same or something similar. 

But no, the promise to be good doesn't help. 
Nor does doing everything you can to keep the bridge intact that connects the both of you.
Little by little, every passing day.. you observe strains on the bridge. Tiny cracks that don't really threaten the foundations but then again who likes a scratch on their shiny car.
You touch up the scratches and do your best to repair what's wrong but the repairs keep on breaking, all your efforts are temporary. 

You don't remember a time when everything was sunny, everything was simple.
You don't remember a time when you were both content, satisfied.
Complications arise, your past deeds deemed unlawful, illegal.
But then you smile, remember there's low and then there's high tide.

Sunday, October 23, 2011


Just this evening my mother made a very interesting observation. She said that the way her generation grew up and the way her parent’s cohorts were raised was similar if not the same. But there is a vast difference in which mine, which is her son’s age group, has grown up and the lifestyle they have as well. Social networking sites are one of those monumental changes in the lifestyle of the yesteryear and today’s technologically spoilt age.

All that you need to know about a person is accessible from their Facebook profile. Sexual orientation, relationship status, the kind of movies, books and music they like, people they admire, sports they play, their vies about everything… et all. It’s almost like you don’t need to speak to a person anymore to get to know them better, which in essence is ridiculous. We are reduced to a generation of robots with smilies for expressions. We are reduced to a pair of eyeballs that are excited by something as trivial as a bra strap in a display picture.

But then again it’s not all apocalyptic, there’s a world of good happening because of these social networking sites as well of course. Getting to know new people has never been this easy; staying in touch with that friend in the other side of the world has never been this undemanding. You go out to a pub, see a pretty face, ask for her name, add her on Facebook, start chatting and before you know it you are in their pants or whatever your primary objective was. It’s an easy world, our brain cells are dying. Devolution is what this is, going back to our ape roots. What’s next? Leaves for clothes?

Wastage of time is a bane though. We sit for hours together doing absolutely nothing on Facebook, expecting God knows what to happen. That pretty girl you added last night is not going to add you straightaway. That hotshot guy will not say hi on chat to you unless you make a move. Social networking sites are no miracle escapes; it’s just like real life where you have to make the effort to reap the reward. And this is what people do not understand.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

I Am An Astronaut

Try looking down.

I am an astronaut 
I'm in my space shuttle, my very own little satellite... orbiting the world.
No one looks at me, I see everyone.
This little space shuttle is my planet, my world
My space suit is my armor, my shield against the crass noise that everything is.
Everyone, everywhere gives way to a plague of irritation
Words, actions, feelings, emotions... unnecessary.
Hug myself tight, become a ball... get lost in this fish bowl of lost souls. 
I want to hibernate and never wake up, never exit my peaceful slumber.
I like being alone, no one to trouble you
But alas, I want to be troubled at times... no one seems to care then.
Can't blame them, after all... I'm an astronaut.
Wearing a shiny space suit, living in a little space shuttle.
Hey, my space suit is shiny for a reason
Notice me, I'm shining.


I am an astronaut - Snow Patrol


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

What Does Independence Mean To Me?


What does independence mean to me?

Independence to me is being able to be myself, be me
The summation of my culture, morals and faith
It is the person I have become and the things I do
It is doing those things wrong, repeating mistakes
Until one day… when I am no more at fault

Independence to me is the promise of maturity
It is how I’m living and letting live in a diverse society
It is the respect for each and every diverse independent person
It is when I eat mutton and firni on Eid with my Muslim friend
And when he attends the langar at my Gurudwara

Independence to me is when I voice my opinion
It is when none is against me when I raise my voice
It is when the whole nation’s voice resonates with me
It is the one single issue that the entire nation voiced
Gandhian with Nehru topi… independence personified.

Independence to me is 10 years since 9/ 11
It is wondering as a little kid why the plane killed the WTC
It is still being stuck with the same question, also
Marveling at Laden’s promise of his heaven with 72 virgins
In awe… hoping that those delusional souls find their sinful heaven

Independence is the iron lady fasting in the north-east
It is her unrelenting struggle against what is unjust
It is ten years and more of self-governance with resolve
It is the satyagraha the country forgot, it is
The day she waits for, the day justice will prevail.

Independence to me is what the Indian freedom fighters desired
It is not what the builders of modern India delivered
It is reflecting on the true meaning of freedom
It is where the mind is without fear
… And where, the head is held high.

Manish Tweari on Team Anna

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Movie Review - Fright Night (Why Even?!)

Movie Review – Fright Night

What do you get when you mix a bottle of Romanov, another of Blender’s Pride, a few Kingfisher draught cans with an impromptu plan for a 3D movie?

You get a cocktail.

A multitude of us infrequent drinkers always have the dream to watch one 3D movie, when high. We have this weird idea in our diluted minds that alcohol would surely make the 3D experience even more real-er, excuse my grammar. And hence I and a few fellow drinking friends made way for the midnight ‘Fright Night’ show.

The original Fright Night came out in 1985 and though it might not have been the best vampire movie, it had a nice balance between comedy and horror and a few iconic performances, with my personal favorite being Stephen Geoffrey’s as Evil Ed. The remake strives to emulate the original, while still managing to keep it independent and fun overall. In simple words – same premise, modern setting.

The movie sets up with the vampire Jerry (Colin Farrell) on a bloody rampage. It’s all weird camera angles and people dying and hiding and stuff, the kind of scenes which are maybe meant to be scary but in all probability just end up making you laugh like a drunken fool. Thing is we all were drunken fools so the movie did start on a high for us.

Ten minutes into the movie we are introduced to our protagonist Charley (Anton Yelchin), who is your typical pseudo-geek who has newfound fame in his community as he somehow has magically managed to hook up with the prettiest girl in college. This is what movies teach us these days – you get the hottest girl and you climb the top of the social ladder.

Anyway, Charley’s ex-friend Ed Lee (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) tried to convince him that his new neighbor, Jerry is a vampire. Charley discounts Ed’s warning but pretty soon realizes that Ed was right as the same night he discovers Jerry’s secret lair where he keep his victims. He tries to save one of the victims but when she steps out of Jerry’s house she just bursts into flame, implying that she was bitten. The explosion was fine and cool in 3D. From then on I was just waiting for more explosions to happen. And the blood and gore.

So by now Ed has become Evil Ed as Jerry has vampire-d him and Jerry finds out that Charley has found out that he is a vampire. It’s just a survival battle which includes a crazy car chase and multiple deaths with a lot of blood and gore. Nice 3D effects.

Charley does realize that this is a battle too big for a geeky ex-nerd like him so he tries to enlist the services of famed illusionist Peter Vincent (David Tennant) who is apprehensive when first approached but of course turns up at the precise moment when Charley’s doom is eminent.

I like the movie. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a silly movie. As silly as it gets. But the director (Craig Gillespie) manages to balance the fun and the horror to make sure you don’t end up regretting your decision to go for a late night show which is bound to result in you missing college attendance the subsequent day. Of Gillepie’s directorial ventures I have had the pleasure to view Mr. Woodcock which had the evergreen Billy Bob Thornton starring as Mr. Woodcock so I was acclimated already to the kind of cinema he makes. And that kind of cinema is just pure entertainment, nothing more… nothing less.

Colin Farrell seems to love his character as it is the classic vampire and not the glittery Romeo in love that the Twilight series has popularized. The vampire is supposed to be a pretty boy who at the same time is a bloodthirsty villain and Farrell plays it to boot.

Anton Yelchin does a good job as well, he is of the same breed of actors that belong to the Jesse Eisenberg and Michael Cera clan – social rejects with overtly exciting lives.

Christopher Mintz-Plasse does his own variant of the now historical Evil Ed role with a dash of his McLovin character from Superbad, which is memorable and humorous in his own right.

David Tennant as the larger than life illusionist is entertaining and the little character quirks that he introduces just add to the humor and silliness. His hot assistant bodes well with Tennant as she has the mouth of an experienced sailor.

The 3D is good and the script has tried to introduce as much as it can to do justice for the decision of post converting the film to 3D. It tends to get dark at times but is still viewable.

I suggest you watch this movie with your drinking buddies and if you tend to be someone who carries their brain to the movies… then be generous with the cocktails.

Oh no you didn't. 

*** - 3 Stars.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Sun's Up, World's Dark

The world is so twisted
You wake up at 12 o’ clock in the afternoon. You roll down from the top bunk of your two-storey bed. You pee and feel free while trying to concentrate to aim right.

You go to the kitchen, try to find some food. You find breakfast thoughtfully left by your mom for you. You ignore it.
You don’t like the fact that anyone wants to be nice to you. It makes your insides hollow.
A void.
You open the fridge. You take out the Appy Fizz bottle. You drink. You burp. You don’t like the taste. You take another swig.

You turn on the computer. Go online. Check if there is an update. An update to your status. The status of your admission in the college you want to go to. Or the college you think you want to go to.
No updates. You sigh.

You log into Facebook. You check useless updates made by useless people. You reply to dumbfuck queries made by dumbfucks. Jobless people try to talk to you. You try to evade. Attempt unsuccessful. You succumb to their demands. You reply. You’re sarcastic. Dry. They don’t get it. You ask the thin air for the umpteenth time, what the fuck is wrong with the world.
The thin air asks back, what the fuck is wrong with you.

You log out. You sit online for a couple of hours. And when you look back, you can’t recall what exactly you did in those two hours. You’re confused. Zombied.

All this time you ignore your brother. He’s in the background. He’s the songs that play at malls in the background. The songs you don’t register. He’s the conductor’s voice in a subway. The voice you can’t make out. His presence is not acknowledged by you. You’re evil.

Your mother comes back from work. Tries to fix you some food. You give in. Rather your hunger does. You eat. A little. She tries to talk. You go deaf. You’re a zombie remember.

You try to watch the television. You’re amazed at how idiotic the box really is. You put on a news channel. It takes you half an hour to realize that you have not been provided by any news of note. You channel surf. You quit.

You get on your bed. Doze off.

You wake up to vibrations. It’s your phone. So many missed calls. So many texts. You don’t care to check.
You get up. It’s the evening.  You walk around. You want to kill. Maybe. Destroy. Kill. And then some more. You’re expressionless.

You notice your father is back home. Another zombie. Root of all the problems. Or so you like to think. You nod at him, he nods back.

You stare at the mirror. That liar. You haven’t shaved in a week. Your hair is perpetually messed. Your white shirt is not so white. You ask the mirror if you’ve been wearing your clothes for a long time. The mirror just stares back. You walk away.

You pick up the phone. A few names jump in your head. Should you call? You put the phone down. Opening your mouth to speak seems a mighty task. Thinking of words to say seems Herculean.

You think of how things could have been. How they were meant to be. What’s gonna happen next. You stop thinking.

You're thinking about some girl.. Stop. It's irritating.
The wall in between has to stand. Opposite sides.

You spend the next few hours watching movies on your laptop, eating this and that and just being a soulless corpse. You hear the birds chirp or whatever sound that is. You look out of your room.

The sun’s come up. But your world is dark.

It’s time to sleep.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Let Me Decay.

Let Me Decay.
One month, two months, three months, four, five
Actually it's four, but five sounds just right.
When was the last time you picked up the phone
Only to throw it at your dog, that bone.

Countless tries, to forget your soft voice
It's all a lie, I never tried.
What's tragic is you believed my lies
Poker face outside, inside I died.

That month of the year, still frozen in time
Haunts my dreams, keeps me awake nights.
I pray for time to speed by, make it fly 
Or go back to that damn January, again try.

Try to hold on to something that slipped
Away from my fingers, left me in a ditch.
How did I push you away, I wonder why
I'm dying to do something, exit this standby. 

I closed the door on you a while ago
So why is it still so hard for me to let you go.
You've found new love though, I see he's tall
I've heard he's chivalrous, plays basketball.

Seems like you left and I begged you to stay
But wasn't it I who pushed you away.
Ain't I supposed to love being free, celebrate
But fuck what's supposed to be, let me decay.


Friday, March 25, 2011

The Son's Journey

Something for a friend who lost his father.

The Son's Journey

Broken, bruised, battered and beaten
Birth, living, loving and leaving.
We come alone and leave the same
Leaving a mark, the one true aim.
A long unfulfilled life?
Or a short satisfying one?
Cuts like a knife
What's done is done.

Alone, lonely, without a soul
Got voids in you, you ain't now whole.
The gaps will fill, all in good time
But will leave scars, will serve as hymns.
I feel your loss
I feel the pain.
Damp soil grows moss
Love will prevail.

Morose, disturbed, lost and unsure
Escaped inside, have shut the door.
You locked the door, the key's with you
Don't be alone, you don't have to.
Family, friends, acquaintances
A handshake, a hug, a friendly kiss.
The pain is fresh, it hurts like hell
Inside you curse, question and yell.

All you need to do is to be strong
Its not your fault, you are not wrong.
The ship has sunk, Captain went down
You are all quiet, won't make a sound.
Cry out, shout, retaliate
Come back before its too damn late.
All's not over, its just begun
The son's journey, without the old one.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Highlights

Greetings programs.

A few hours back I was in possibly the best motivational meeting ever. Like for real. This woman made me realize what I had done to myself and made me look at me from her eyes.

I can see clearly now.

I fell back one year. I questioned my abilities, nature and intelligence. I doubted myself. People saw me fall down.

What I should have blamed was the lack of hard-work and lady luck. I tried to but at the end of the day you just curse yourself for fucking up so bad. You are your criminal at night. 

Not a complete waste of year. Not at all. How you ask?

Met a motivational woman who made me recount my year. Asked me to make a list of memorable stuff I've done over the year.
She said it would help therapeutically.


The Highlights

* I worked as a Content Writer in a  firm for 5 months. Earned a little less than half a lakh. 

* The job gave me an idea of real corporate life and how to deal with your seniors. I'm smarter business-wise now. 

* I will be done with my Diploma in Creative Writing in two months. 

* I got published in the newspaper. In a national daily. A poem. 

* I actually hit the gym for 2 months. Didn't help much physically but helped me know my potential. 10 km on the treadmill in an hour everyday was no joke. 

* I ran in an actual marathon and finished in the top 10.

* I travelled without any supervision for the first time (child). Had the time of my life. 

* I did some self-assessment that I believe helped me in anger management. A little.

* I made a little part of myself in the online world - my blog. 

* I had the most awesome New Year's night ever. We all need one. 

* I learnt horse-riding. If all cars die and I have to get somewhere I will be able to manoeuvre a horse to get places. 

* I read some brilliant books, saw good cinema and addictive TV shows. Discovered some great music. 

* I won a BlackBerry. I actually won something expensive. That bloody rocks.

* I've been growing my hair since the past six months. Laugh. 

* I made friends with some amazing people this past year. The kind that stay with your for life. I hope. 

* I was in a beautiful relationship for a better part of the year. Even after it ended it still didn't somehow. But now it's time to close the door on that. Goodbye.

* I have no regrets now. Almost. I've accepted the fact that everything that happened, happened for good.

PS - In retrospect this looks stupid.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I Might Just Call

I Might Just Call

I come and go, return and leave
I know it’s so, do what I please.
One time, two times, three times it’s fine
Ask you to leave, next day you’re mine.

I knew it hurt so bad, I understood
Turned out far from what was good.
Time and time, kept coming back
You begged me, I cut some slack.

Like dominoes we fell, part by part
Till one day things just fell apart.
It felt so said, the pain it stayed
Was stupid, that need to get laid.

It pains a little, still does now
Wanting to go back, but how.
I’m afraid someday it’ll all be gone
Pitch-black night, no sign of dawn.

Memories, feelings, hopes and dreams
Echo in my head, those shrill screams.
I don’t want them to ever leave me
Just close my eyes and you I see.

I sound so down and so morose
Still have that shrivelled up rose.
I can’t make myself burn it all
I’m weak inside, I might just call.



Wednesday, March 2, 2011


Broken house of  broken dreams
Torn shirts and dirty jeans.
Busted windows and open doors
Just me inside, down on all fours.
Liar, cheater, thief and  crook
Played every dirt trick in the book.
The magic lasts only for a while
Can’t run at all beyond a mile.

Broken words from a broken mouth
Nothing looks up, I’m heading South.
Beware of me, stay far away
Run right now, while it’s still day.
All I’ve done is harm and hurt
Now on the floor, face full of dirt.
I deserve it all and then some more
Maybe I’m heartless, empty core.

Broken life of a broken man
Never embraced, always ran.
Didn't come forward, face the truth
Ran away, escaped, hid in a booth.
Want to be different, someone good
Tired of living under the hood.
Friends, family, love…all gone
It is just me…all on my own.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Growing Pains

Lets talk a little different today.

When you’re young everything feels so simple and safe. With your parents there to guide and protect you nothing ever seems like a threat and you feel secure. They always know what to say and what to do. Walking in a crowd doesn’t freak you out cos you’re holding your mother’s dupatta. Teachers who love caning would never touch for fear of your mother as she comes to your school every week to snatch those dreadful canes. You stumble and fall, hurt yourself. Your mother says you’re a strong boy and you recover that very instant. Parents are supermen when we’re young.

Then you enter your teens and changes happen. You stop telling your parents the truth. First it begins by altering the truth, then the lies and finally avoiding any kind of conversation. You start detesting their company. Your opinions are poles apart.

“Oh they are old. They don’t know anything. They don’t get me. They’re from a different era.”

Friends become our parents then, sort of. We confide in them and ask for advice. Make them our Facebook parents. All that used to happen with parents is taken over by friends. They start picking the clothes you wear and the places you visit. You watch the movies they ask you to and the music they like. We think we’ve grown up. We feel rebellious.

You start growing out of your teens and the actual growing up starts then. You start maturing little by little. Contact with parents starts, albeit gradually. You start confiding in them. They seem to understand you more. They start treating you like adults. Your friend circle gets smaller. Less friends, more acquaintances. You know everyone but only a handful know you. You make a perfect amalgamation of your actual family and friends. And that’s how it is from that moment on.

When I say "we" I might be wrong. I can’t really generalize as I have only lived the life of just one person. And that too not fully, I’m not even 18 yet. Or even if I’ve been someone before my present being then I don’t remember my past life. What I speak comes of my own rich experience with family and friends, keen observations and above par judgment skills.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

I See The Horse Up Close

Why do you talk to me when you know what I want
I never say it to you, you too don't say it aloud.
This game of cat and mouse is kind of tiring me out
Just wait a while will you, soon you'll hear me shout out loud.
But I am confused, don't know what I want
It's always been the same, since the day I could count.
I see the horse up close, but I can't mount.

I never ever was good at times like this
Give me a hint, a clue or I'll slip and miss. 
I don't get why you act so harsh and wild
When I talk so meek and so damn mild.
I don't know, don't care what you think inside
I make guesses, take chances, throw the dice.
I see the horse up close, but I'm afraid to ride.

These words of mine they sing and dance
My pen's mightier than that guy's lance.
I'll write you words you've never heard
A bending river, clear skies, a little bird.
The whole day you just stare at me like that
Forget every single time to rub shoes on the mat.
I see the horse up close, but then I let it go.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

High Noon

The distance bites, it claws my insides
The moon wanes, changes the tides.
I crave and I lust for your sweet voice
The distance makes my blood turn ice.

It hurts at times, that hole inside
Each passing day makes it wide.
No one but you can fill the void
No left no right, I’ll take your side.

Me and you, you and me
That was the way meant to be.
But now it’s you with someone else
My heart bleeds dry, suffers…yells.

What do I do with that empty shell?
It won’t ring, what use is the bell?
Gave it to you, you did the same
Was serious business, no simple game.

I lost your trust and you lost mine
The vultures descend, now they dine.
Don't let it feel like the end so soon
Wait for the night, its still high noon.


Thursday, February 10, 2011


Hello there!
It’s just past midnight right now and in around twelve hours more I would have landed in Delhi. That is if the plane’s left filange is in order!

So I sound happy. Yes I do! And after quite a while too. I just won a Blackberry Bold 9700 in this contest I participated in for God's sake! The entries had to express through image/ video what they wanted to do before they die. I saw the contest notification and was like why the hell not. So I spent two hours editing an image that would showcase a little bit of my bucket list. And I dunno, it sounds weird now but I kinda had the feeling in the beginning that I’m gonna win and I did too! OK OK I sound over the moon right now but the phone is worth 30 grand which is just a little less than what I have earned working the past four months at my job. So yes, free stuff is always appreciated. And expensive free stuff more so.

This is it (click on the image for an enlarged view):

And this is just the beginning to a very awesome short vacation. Some of you might know I’m flying to Delhi tomorrow and will be there for a few hours. Gonna meet some real close friends. One who I haven’t met in an year, one in three years, one in ten years and one I haven’t met ever. Pretty cool right? Very psyched about meeting them all.

And then I will be traveling with my cousin who’s the lucky groom to Saharanpur which is a few hours ride from Delhi and there we will have the big fat Punjabi-Indian wedding! Oh and did I mention I’m going there without my parents! It should be epic.

After the wedding I will be with my relatives in Dehradun for a couple of days and then back to rusty old Vizag. One month in Vizag and then back to Dehradun for my law coaching and entrances. Hopefully college soon. The days seem to be flying and I am loving it.

I think I crossed the exclamation marks limit on this blog post but what the hell. Oh and yeah, played like six hours of Counter Strike with some friends. Damn it’s addictive! Also met a real interesting character today. I mean this guy is one of those guys you don’t wanna miss. Funny as hell.

I was just thinking, to the people who do not know me well my blog might hardly make any sense! But my job is the writing and your job is the deciphering.

Will blog soon. Wish me a happy journey! 

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Night Night

The nights seem longer than the days
The morning hours are few.
The light hardly ever stays
The cruel moon its cue.

They say the morning makes you work
So why do I feel fatigue.
No need to be a Captain Kirk
The Enterprise is a pig.

The night’s a mirror
It is candle-light.
That bloody liar, the deceiver
It cataracts your sight.

Who really ever cares I ask
Just lie right on my face.
Little crooked, adjust your mask
Time yourself to night’s pace.

I rumble in the day
I stumble in the night.
At times I love the warm ray
At times I feel the bite.

Beauty at its best at night
Flawlessness personified.
All the wrongs are made right
Ugliness has died.

Now the damn sun has come up
I have to go to sleep.
But then again I have to work
Night’s blanket I get to keep.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Pursuit of Crappyness

  • “My ambition in life is to have loads of liquid cash in my hand.”
  • “I want to get married to a rich guy who can get me anything I want.”
  • “I guess I’ll just become an engineer like a billion others and do stuff I don’t want to do for the rest of my life.”
  • “I don’t know what I’m good at. I don’t think I have any talent.”
  • “You should join the Armed Forces as it’s a secure job and you’ll get a great pension after retirement. Plus the canteen and the various club facilities are great.”
  • “You can easily become an IAS officer as you read a lot. You’ll get a whole lot of government power to abuse and the under the table bribes are just an added incentive.”
  • “Why can’t you just go to an engineering college like the rest of your friends?”
  • “A degree in English will get you nowhere.”
  • “Your writing skills are useless as writing can never be a profession but only a hobby.”
  • “I don’t know what I want to do in life.”

These are some of the things my friends, family and acquaintances have said about me, themselves and others around us. All of them have a common theme. Most of the people I know just don’t know what they want in life. And even when they do they just can’t make themselves do it. They just follow the yellow brick road, in the pursuit of crappyness.

The problem with most of us is that the passion is lost. If you are not passionate about something then you have no driving force in your life. Your passion can be anything from writing to photography and from traveling places to serving the nation. It does not matter what single thing ignites the flame in you, what matters is the reason that the flame burns. And when people say they don’t know what their talents is then it’s just sad.

Talent might be a big word for some people, so let us use the phrase “area of interest”. Making a whole lot of money is not your area of interest. If that is your aim then you will do that for the rest of your money and never spend that money.

If on the other hand you are passionate about cars and want to buy the best ones from all around the world then that can very well be your area of interest. If you work day and night to earn money to be able to buy those cars then that is justified. Earning for the sake of earning will get you nowhere. Remember, it’s lonely at the top. And you won’t take all that money to the afterlife. Spend it on the stuff you love while you can.

I should have blogged on the 26th of Jan, Republic Day and all. Frankly speaking it was just another holiday from office. When people act all patriotic for a couple of days in the entire year I can’t make myself join them.

With people wanting to join the IAS for the money that comes with it and not using it as an avenue to help fellow countrymen and the multitude of scams that the country has faced last year, a day like Republic Day just makes you angry. Angry at the politicians who don’t give a damn, angry at the way the government jobs are treated and angry at the people who just want to get a nice degree here and settle abroad. Don’t get me wrong, I love to travel. But I will always be an Indian resident and work here to benefit the country in whatever small way I can.

We are a nation of people who will watch movies like Rang De Basanti on Republic Day and feel all patriotic. The cast died in that movie and it was a worthless death. And for what? They killed one politician. One. It didn't change anything. Change is a slow process and it will take the participation of the whole nation. Killing does not help.

So while you sit there reading my blog….think. Think about your passion, the thing that makes you burn from the inside.
And be patriotic the whole year around.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

It's a Quarter After One

It’s a quarter after one. You try to write something on lawyers who can help you get compensated for faulty hip replacement units. You get bored. You are sleepy. You get up from your computer couch. It is saggy and has taken the permanent shape of your ass. You open the fridge. Hide and Seek. ChocoPie. Blah vegetable stuff. Beer – why can’t you have alcohol at home? You settle for a half-full 600ml bottle of soda with pineapple squash. You mix up the concoction. It fizzes and spills. You drop dead on the saggy couch. You sip. It is bad. You sip. You try to write something on lawyers who can help you get compensated for faulty hip replacement units.

The amount of time people waste is amazing. We probably spend more than half our lives just wasting our time. What exactly is wasting our time though? Not doing stuff that you are supposed to do? Supposed to. Why am I even supposed to do something? Why can’t I just do whatever I want to? If I do whatever I want to I would never be wasting my time. If everyone would just do whatever they want to do and not what they are supposed to do then everyone would just be happy. NOT. Of course not. We live in a society after all. Rules and regulations. Social norms. Bah.

Make me a primate and I would live in the jungles. I would swing trees and eat those godforsaken yellow slimey bananas. I would make crazy monkey sounds and pick up fleas from other primates’ bodies. I would eat, pray, love. I would be happier.

But I am happy now. Or not. I’m Zen. I want to get out of the house. I want to go to the beach and just lie down on the sand. Maybe count the stars with Jeff Bridges giving the background score. I don’t want 12745398 calls from my mother asking me to come back home from fear that I would get mugged or raped. I want freedom.

Yes, I want freedom. Nothing more, nothing less. And a mug of nice hot coffee. Lots of sugar, lots of milk.

It’s half past one. You try to write something on lawyers who can help you get compensated for faulty hip replacement units.