Growing Pains

Lets talk a little different today.

When you’re young everything feels so simple and safe. With your parents there to guide and protect you nothing ever seems like a threat and you feel secure. They always know what to say and what to do. Walking in a crowd doesn’t freak you out cos you’re holding your mother’s dupatta. Teachers who love caning would never touch for fear of your mother as she comes to your school every week to snatch those dreadful canes. You stumble and fall, hurt yourself. Your mother says you’re a strong boy and you recover that very instant. Parents are supermen when we’re young.

Then you enter your teens and changes happen. You stop telling your parents the truth. First it begins by altering the truth, then the lies and finally avoiding any kind of conversation. You start detesting their company. Your opinions are poles apart.

“Oh they are old. They don’t know anything. They don’t get me. They’re from a different era.”

Friends become our parents then, sort of. We confide in them and ask for advice. Make them our Facebook parents. All that used to happen with parents is taken over by friends. They start picking the clothes you wear and the places you visit. You watch the movies they ask you to and the music they like. We think we’ve grown up. We feel rebellious.

You start growing out of your teens and the actual growing up starts then. You start maturing little by little. Contact with parents starts, albeit gradually. You start confiding in them. They seem to understand you more. They start treating you like adults. Your friend circle gets smaller. Less friends, more acquaintances. You know everyone but only a handful know you. You make a perfect amalgamation of your actual family and friends. And that’s how it is from that moment on.

When I say "we" I might be wrong. I can’t really generalize as I have only lived the life of just one person. And that too not fully, I’m not even 18 yet. Or even if I’ve been someone before my present being then I don’t remember my past life. What I speak comes of my own rich experience with family and friends, keen observations and above par judgment skills.

I See The Horse Up Close

Why do you talk to me when you know what I want

I never say it to you, you too don't say it aloud.

This game of cat and mouse is kind of tiring me out

Just wait a while will you, soon you'll hear me shout out loud.

But I am confused, don't know what I want

It's always been the same, since the day I could count.

I see the horse up close, but I can't mount.

I never ever was good at times like this

Give me a hint, a clue or I'll slip and miss. 

I don't get why you act so harsh and wild

When I talk so meek and so damn mild.

I don't know, don't care what you think inside

I make guesses, take chances, throw the dice.

I see the horse up close, but I'm afraid to ride.

These words of mine they sing and dance

My pen's mightier than that guy's lance.

I'll write you words you've never heard

A bending river, clear skies, a little bird.

The whole day you just stare at me like that

Forget every single time to rub shoes on the mat.

I see the horse up close, but then I let it go.

High Noon

________________________________

The distance bites, it claws my insides

The moon wanes, changes the tides.

I crave and I lust for your sweet voice

The distance makes my blood turn ice.

It hurts at times, that hole inside

Each passing day makes it wide.

No one but you can fill the void

No left no right, I’ll take your side.

Me and you, you and me

That was the way meant to be.

But now it’s you with someone else

My heart bleeds dry, suffers…yells.

What do I do with that empty shell?

It won’t ring, what use is the bell?

Gave it to you, you did the same

Was serious business, no simple game.

I lost your trust and you lost mine

The vultures descend, now they dine.

Don't let it feel like the end so soon

Wait for the night, its still high noon.

________________________________

I'm Leaving On A Jetplane or HOW A CHILD BLOGS WHEN HE IS HAPPY

Hello there!

It’s just past midnight right now and in around twelve hours more I would have landed in Delhi. That is if the plane’s left filange is in order!

So I sound happy. Yes I do! And after quite a while too. I just won a Blackberry Bold 9700 in this contest I participated in for God's sake! The entries had to express through image/ video what they wanted to do before they die. I saw the contest notification and was like why the hell not. So I spent two hours editing an image that would showcase a little bit of my bucket list. And I dunno, it sounds weird now but I kinda had the feeling in the beginning that I’m gonna win and I did too! OK OK I sound over the moon right now but the phone is worth 30 grand which is just a little less than what I have earned working the past four months at my job. So yes, free stuff is always appreciated. And expensive free stuff more so.

This is it (click on the image for an enlarged view):

And this is just the beginning to a very awesome short vacation. Some of you might know I’m flying to Delhi tomorrow and will be there for a few hours. Gonna meet some real close friends. One who I haven’t met in an year, one in three years, one in ten years and one I haven’t met ever. Pretty cool right? Very psyched about meeting them all.

And then I will be traveling with my cousin who’s the lucky groom to Saharanpur which is a few hours ride from Delhi and there we will have the big fat Punjabi-Indian wedding! Oh and did I mention I’m going there without my parents! It should be epic.

After the wedding I will be with my relatives in Dehradun for a couple of days and then back to rusty old Vizag. One month in Vizag and then back to Dehradun for my law coaching and entrances. Hopefully college soon. The days seem to be flying and I am loving it.

I think I crossed the exclamation marks limit on this blog post but what the hell. Oh and yeah, played like six hours of Counter Strike with some friends. Damn it’s addictive! Also met a real interesting character today. I mean this guy is one of those guys you don’t wanna miss. Funny as hell.

I was just thinking, to the people who do not know me well my blog might hardly make any sense! But my job is the writing and your job is the deciphering.

Will blog soon. Wish me a happy journey!